I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
