Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
