If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I forget how to act sober
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
