my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
