i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
