Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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