I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
