I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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