My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
