remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
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