you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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