Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize