it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize