your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
