I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
