im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
As shirtless as possible
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
