I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
