your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
