I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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