Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize