it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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