you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize