Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
