With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
