I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
