don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
