you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
You can't motorboat a personality
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
