maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
