Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
