i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My breasts were aching with rage.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize