i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
