he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I just googled if crying burns calories
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
