Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I could fuck to npr.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
