May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
