I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
So squirting runs in the family.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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