You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
