So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
