ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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