I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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