she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
