like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
