I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
