Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
