Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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