If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
