Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
