he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
