i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
