playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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