don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
