So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
