YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
