my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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