Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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