This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
