Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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