you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
whose parrot is this?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
