We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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